Introduction

when they tell me I'm arrogant I say I'm realistic.

It was always a trust issue with myself.
Between the person I wanted to become and the person I actually was. A constant fight, a timeless battle.

Growing up in a small town on the border with Ukraine, back then there was no war. I got to know war later, much later. But I had already fought plenty of wars before that, even if there were no armies lined up in front of me.

I fought them at school, with my family, with that pressure of always having to please my father. A man deeply respected, no doubt, but with a mindset that belonged to a time that was never really mine.

It didn’t matter if his strength came from forcing things to go his way. My rebellious side pushed me into a war against myself.

“They will never break you,” I used to tell myself.
“They can bend you, but they will never break you.”

Beautiful words on paper. But in real life, they were never that useful. Actually, the opposite.

You learn the hard way that nobody really gives a damn. Either you play their game, or you end up on the bench, an outsider, a misfit, someone looking in from the outside.

I never accepted the idea that you have to adapt. Adapt to what? To something we, as a society, built and twisted for our own convenience? At the cost of our own individuality?

A high price to pay, yes. Maybe way too high. But at this point, as someone said long before me, the die is cast. There is no going back.

And that is how my short life, at least so far, became some kind of pilgrimage, a search for answers, a messy hunt for my own identity, never without problems.

Money, work, punches, fights.
Friendships found and lost.
Loves dreamed of, but never truly lived.

Last login: 2026-07-07
Start of membership: 2022-08-28