BritPro Wrestling

KFC_Gut: As the second heaviest man in British wrestling I had flattened every opponent. All were much lighter and many were under half my weight.

KFC_Gut: I said second heaviest as even though I was 600 lb there was a heavier man the Giant Haystacks at 700 lb.

KFC_Gut: So far I had avoided getting in ring against him but today I was in a tag match with my cousin Walrus against Giant Haystacks and one of Pitbulls trainees

KFC_Gut: A coin toss meant our opponents were first to enter arena

senior_warrior: i walk down to the ring with one of pitbulls boys by my side, im haystacks the heaviest, the meanest, the most brutal man in british wrestling today, and knowing i have one of pits rookies by my side means a lot, this young lad is tough and out to prove himself and i know he can show our opponents a trick or two, i climb up into the ring , it takes me a while as im so big and i have to use the steps to finally step over the top rope and into the ring, and as i stand there with killer by my side, im looking forward to a great match up ............

senior_warrior:

senior_warrior: the killer ....

Walrus:

Walrus: Giant Haystacks

Walrus: Backstage I hear announcer say our opponents weigh 910 lbs combined slightly less than us

Walrus: Then it’s our turn - I go first 330 lb of bulk stomping to the ring

Walrus:

KFC_Gut: Behind Walrus I waddle slowly. Normally crowd shout ‘you fat bastard’ at me but today all I hear is crowd chanting Stax name.

KFC_Gut:

KFC_Gut: I too need the steps to enter ring as though 100 lb lighter I am also seven inches shorter than Stax. My belly actually sticking out further than his as we stand belly to belly in the middle of the ring. I had never seen such a huge man and I was intimidated but my usual arrogance overrides that as I press my belly into Stax telling him I was going to splash him for the easy easy win !!

senior_warrior: you and your pal are gonna get battered tonight i yell back at this arrogant guy pushing his belly onto mine before we even start, im also proud to see that killer doesnt move from my side, not at all intimidated by what for him must seem two enormous guys, but he stays there not showing any sign of hesitation as hes keen to impress, and with my help he will do, i pull back a step then slam my belly into that of the walrus to get him to move back ....

Walrus: BOOM as Stax belly slams into me and I forced back a few steps

Walrus: Announcer says our combined weight is 930 lbs and the ring has been reinforced to cope with the heavy men. And that is a best of three falls match in normal Brit Pro style

Walrus: I agree with KFC that I will get in as assume Killer will be in first

senior_warrior: killer is keen to prove himself in this bout and to get his name known so he does indeed step into the ring as i step onto the ring rope and leave him to start the match off, i rub his shoulder and whisper some advice into his ear and as the bell rings out, i watch the young stud step forward, hes clever and doesnt just rush in but moves around looking for his chance ....

Walrus: I move forwards circling a bit to force Killer to do the same. Trying to get me between him and his corner so he can’t tag Stax in. Once I have done that I move forwards hoping he will step back in response towards our corner close enough for KFC to land a huge forearm smash to his back from outside the ring

senior_warrior: i watch as you move round the ring, killer isolated from tagging for now but as you move in you dont get the response your expecting, instead of the young stud moving back away from you as you think hes going to do , he shows hes willing to stand his ground and he drives his boot up into your guts, you let out a rush of air and your head drops forward slightly and as it does he sends a massive forearm into your face and then he moves himself so he can make the tag if he needs too .....

senior_warrior: outside the ring pitbull is screaming out, go on killer lad fucking show him what your made of son .....

Walrus: Plan doesn’t work as Killer stands his ground slamming a boot into my guts. Before I can counter he lands his forearm smash into my face. Reeling from the attack I fall back towards our corner hoping he will move in again

senior_warrior: killer moves in with one hand in the air and you wonder what the hell he is doing but as you stare up at his hand he kicks at your right leg, knocking the ankle from under you and making you drop to the canvass at an awkward position hurting your leg in the process , as he dives back and cleverly tags me in ....

Walrus: I assume he wants a test of strength but I don’t see him go for my ankle. Falling awkwardly hurting my leg. I see him tag Stax in. As it takes the behemoth a while to haul his bulk into ring I had time to crawl to my corner and tag in KFC

KFC_Gut: I enter the ring as ungracefully as Stax. Crowd cheering as this is what they were waiting for. I yell at Stax let’s go for the belly charge and slam. Idea is we charge at each slam belly into belly trying to knock other back. Counting us down three two one charge !

KFC_Gut: BOOM ! When we collide it’s like two juggernauts hitting. Neither huge man moves. Outwardly to crowd I look like I am completely unaffected. However the huge impact shook me, my belly compressed, my legs and bulk just about able to keep me from being knocked back towards my corner. I suspect Stax realises the impact that had on me

KFC_Gut:

senior_warrior: i see kfc enter the ring and he calls for a belly to belly charge, he moves in as i step forward slowly , our bellies collide, my shoulders jolt a little but i dont move, no foot movement, no let movement im stuck to the spot and as he stares at me i can see his belly rippling and i know it shook him well so i move away towards the ropes , as he looks back at me im already charging in again, this time i put some speed behind it and as our bellies hit this time i can hear a huge gasp from the crowd as i send the big man tumbling backwards.................... haystacks, .......haystacks.......haystacks...........the crowd now chanting

KFC_Gut: Still recovering as Stax moves back for a second slam. The huge man getting up more speed this time as he stampedes towards me like an elephant. I try charging towards him but can’t get as much speed up this time

KFC_Gut: BBOOOOMM !! A much bigger impact this time ! Stax hitting me us like a steam train hitting a juggernaut as I get slammed backwards. My huge belly compressing against his. I can smell his sweat, he can probably smell my fear as he continues to slam his belly into mine pushing me easy easy back towards a neutral corner.

KFC_Gut:

senior_warrior: i push you back with my belly forcing you into a corner, i grab the top ropes and just keep slamming my gut into you, each time crushing you a bit more and a bit more between my great belly and the hard steel corner post, ...............killer screaming at me to fucking do you over good, and the fans going crazy as i hear walrus telling you to tag, as if you have any chance of that where you are right now .....

KFC_Gut: As I get relentlessly pushed back I feel the turnbuckle against my back. Then I feel Stax enormous body pressing into mine. Crushing me between him and the post. Because of his height and my short legs it means the widest abs heaviest part of his belly is pressing against my chest and upper belly. Making my breathing difficult as I can expand chest properly whereas his chest is by my neck so he can breathe

KFC_Gut: Getting crushed more and more as I try reaching up to slam fists into Stax head but he is too tall so I slam them into his sides instead

Walrus: I realise by tag partner is in big trouble. Ref is watching them so I get in ring and reach up as high as I can to smash my forearms onto Stax impossibly wide back - one two three times

Walrus: I hear commentator saying to Pitbull sitting next to him - “Stax is of course normally banned from doing aerial moves such as Banzai drops and top rope splashes but of course that ban only applies where opponent is less than eighty percent of Stax weight. Of course all wrestlers are below that amount - well all but one that is as KFC is over the limit so Stax could do those devastating moves on him”

senior_warrior: suddenly i feel a forearm smashing onto my back and i spin round to find kfc is in the ring, i bring up my arm and slam my forearm down on top of his head hard as hell, the ref seeing him orders him out of the ring and as hes distracted i turn back towards walrus and slam a huge fist into his guts and he looks worn out, i move over to my corner and once more tag killer back into the ring, .......the lad looks keen and seeing walrus weakeneed state, he grins knowing hes gonna have some fun ....

KFC_Gut: Walrus trying to save me but making things worse as Stax gets chance to slam a giant fist in my guts

Walrus: I see Stax turn then he lands a huge forearm down in my head

Walrus:

Walrus: I go over as ref yells at me to get out of the ring. I roll out going back to my corner

KFC_Gut: Finally Stax moves his massive bulk away from me. Hanging onto ropes crushed and squashed. Sucking in huge lungfuls if air now that Stax huge weight isn’t impeding my breathing

KFC_Gut: I see Killer enter and think here is my chance for a first fall. Moving my bulk out of the corner getting ready to charge at him

senior_warrior: i watch killer as he performs like a seasoned veteran of the ring rather than a young rookie, not rushing in foolishly thinking he can do anything he assesses you carefully and then makes his move he darts past you using his speed and jumping into the air showing his athleticism he drop kicks you between the shoulder blades ...............

KFC_Gut: Lumbering forwards as I am even slowly than usual as rather worn out or worn down. Killer evades me then I get drop kicked between the shoulder blades sending me staggering forwards. Almost falling but I manage to grab a rope. Close to your corner - too close !

KFC_Gut:

senior_warrior: the drop kick sends you flying towards me and reaching over the top rope i grab hold of you and pull you into the corner, i hook my arm around your neck to stop you moving and with your belly turned in towards the ring, killer steps forward, he rolls about on his feet and takes a boxers stance then pounces , a very quick, very brutal flurry of fists land into your belly, each one pushing in deep through the layers of fat and blubber until he cant go any further and your body is made to recoil in agony, but before you can do too much the next punch is already landing and finding its way through those ripples of fat and deep into your core, causing much damage.........

KFC_Gut: Stax long reach pulls me into the corner. A huge arm around my neck from behind as I fade into the ring. Unable to move as Killer send punch after punch into my huge belly as my arms try to defend myself against them but I am too slow. Damaging my prize winning belly and going so deep it damages my body under the blubber. Great strategy by my opponents to destroy my main offensive weapon to prevent me using it effectively.

Walrus: Trying to get into ring again to save you but again all I am doing is distracting ref as he orders me to leave. Allowing Killer and Stax to continue the onslaught. Finally I leave ring allowing ref to see what’s happening. He orders Stax to let KFC go and tells Killer to move back

senior_warrior: killer moves back but the moment i let go of you hes on you again, this time he flies forwards towards you dives into the air and lands a forearm smash to the side of your face, he moves back across the ring , leans on the ropes for momentum and runs in again for another forearm to your face ...

Walrus: Yelling trying to encourage the big bellied man

KFC_Gut: I manage to step a couple of strides out of the corner. Then a huge forearm smash to side of my face has me rocking on my feet. Sensing I may fall Killer tries again but takes too long by using the ropes. I manage to grab him as he leaps so he is in crossbody position across my chest. Wobbling for a moment then I slam him face up on the ground and go for the belly splash aiming for his chest

senior_warrior: i watch as killer is caught in mid air, not good, you slam him hard and he yells out , his hips coming up off the canvass you take a pace towards him, he can see what your doing and as you jump he rolls for his life, getting out of your way but ends up on the floor near kfc...

KFC_Gut: As I fall I see Killer roll out of the way

KFC_Gut: BBOOOOMM !

KFC_Gut: I land belly down on the mats - on my already injured belly. Groaning from the impact on my bruised gut

KFC_Gut: I roll over trying to squash Killer under me as I can see him nearby but so exhausted i can only roll over onto my back. Laying there belly up. A giant target for Stax if Killer tags him in

KFC_Gut:

KFC_Gut:

senior_warrior: worried that kfc will try to get to killer but i see the lads clever and he moves out of the corner as fast as he rolled into it, and he gets to his feet, he stands near you as your still on your back and he jumps into the air landing both feet on top of your damaged belly as he uses it as a way of getting over you then he dives forward and tags me in, as i climb into the ring he rolls out under the bottom rope, and i move towards you ...........

KFC_Gut: Using my belly as a trampoline Killer manages to get to Stax to tag the huge man in. Crowd going wild chanting Stax Stax Stax. I feel the heavy stomp of the heaviest man in UK wrestling as he approaches. Trying to get off my back but my enormous rotundity makes it very difficult for me to move when in this position even when not exhausted or injured

KFC_Gut:

KFC_Gut:

senior_warrior: i watch as you lay there and i move closer, your thrashing around making you look even more stupid than you feel right now, and i dive into the air and i land over your stomach, the reinforced ring gives way the ropes go loose and the wooden board under us snaps in two and we drop about a foot lower, but the canvass stops us from falling any further, i roll off you and start to haul myself up to my feet, which is no easy task, but your still laid there screaming as officials look on wondering what to do , but for me the fight isnt over so im not stopping ....

Walrus: Watching horrified as Stax leaps into the air

KFC_Gut: A shadow falls over me. A 700 lb huge bearded shadow ! I can only watch as your massive bulk heads towards my massive bulk !

 

KFC_Gut: BBOOOOMM ! It feels like the whole building just collapsing on me. The weight and force crushing my huge belly. So much forces and weight that the reinforced ring gives way and we drop a foot lower me still trapped under the human elephant. I can’t move I can’t breathe !!

 

KFC_Gut: Stax rolls off me and only now your crushing weight is gone do I realise how much my body has been injured. Yelling and screaming as badly hurt

KFC_Gut:

senior_warrior: your tag partner leaning over the ropes trying to get you to tag, killer shouting at me to tag him in two, but for now he can stay there until i see how long it takes for you to get up or tag out ...

KFC_Gut: You rolled off before the pinfall so no score yet. Ref starting to count me out. Walrus getting in helping me up even though he shouldn’t do but once i am on my feet again he is forced to leave again. I try to stagger towards my corner clutching my belly but Stax blocks my path

senior_warrior: i see you wobbling and i see you trying to get to your corner to make a tag, i grab your head and i pull it into the middle of my chest, my arms clamped onto your head tightly i pull it right in against my massive chest, smothering your nose and mouth and making it impossible for you to get your breath as i go for a ko on you ....

KFC_Gut: I have seen Stax do this move on Big Daddy. On me the move will be more devastating as my vast bulk needs loads of air to kept it upright. My face pressed deep into your sweaty chest as I slap your blubber bulk in a futile attempt to get you to release me

KFC_Gut:

KFC_Gut: Trying to slam my belly into yours but most of my huge belly is under yours so that doesn’t work

KFC_Gut:

KFC_Gut: Struggling to breathe

KFC_Gut: Head going as red as my singlet

senior_warrior: i pull you in closer, tighter and i feel your body starting to react, your shaking your legs are wobbling and killlers screaming at me to knock you the fuck out, which is exactly what im aiming for , i shout at you come on bitch your fucking done for lad, your fucking mine now cunt, im gonna fuck you up boy ....

KFC_Gut: I can’t fucking breathe ! You are pushing your weight forwards to increase the suffocation and the weight my knees are having to hold up. Legs wobbling body shaking crowd cheering.

senior_warrior: go stax..........go stax.............go stax............

Walrus: Again I try to get in ring again ref stops me

senior_warrior: killer flies across the ring puhsing past the ref and flies into the air sending a forearm into your face and knocking you off the ring apron before the ref quickly moves killer back out again

KFC_Gut: No ref around to lift my arm as he is trying to get Walrus then Killer out of ring. My huge body slumping as I run out of air. I am effectively ko held upright by Stax only

senior_warrior: with killer out of the ring the ref finally returns and realises your out of it, he finally raises an arm and it falls, killer is screaming yes yes yes, as the ref lifts the arm for a second time ....

Walrus: Watching as ref lifts KFC arm concerning falls then repeats the move and again it falls.

Walrus: Ref tries third time lifting arm then releasing …….. it falls !! KFC KO !!

senior_warrior: i finally throw kfc to one side and he drops face down ont he canvass, i kick him rolling him out of the ring and under the bottom rope till he falls over the side, then killer joins me in the ring as we signal for you to come forward ............

senior_warrior:

KFC_Gut: Dropped face down on canvas and kicked out of ring. Landing on my back still ko

KFC_Gut:

Walrus: Nervously I get in ring moving towards you two

senior_warrior: killer moves forward first and spins on one foot, sending an impressive spinning back kick right into your stomach ..............i appluad him and he looks pleased ................

Walrus: Ref ordering Stax out of the ring as I stagger backwards from the force of the kick. Deciding that retreating is best option I roll out of ring looking to escape but come face to face with Pitbull !

senior_warrior: killler looks down out of the ring seeing you have ran from him, he stomps his foot on the canvass, getting the crowd behind him and they all start shouting 'chicken' at you and as you face pitbull he screams in your face telling you to get back in the ring and when you dont move he starts to help you forcibly and i stand there laughing , killer is loving it and im proud he is doing so well he has turned out to be a worthy tag partner ...........

KFC_Gut: Outside the ring I have woken up groaning. I see Pitbull pushing and shoving Walrus back towards the ring. Stax is on ring apron shouting and yelling as I slowly crawl closer. Grabbing Stax leg and pulling it to make him fall away from the ring onto the floor.

Walrus: I get forced back into ring where Killer is waiting, he looks angry as I slowly get back in. I can’t see Stax in the opposite corner

senior_warrior: i get knocked to the ground when someone outside the ring grabs my ankle, inside the ring i can see killer still on fire, as walrus steps back in through the ropes killer kicks the middle rope upwards into his crotch unseen by the ref and walfus falls into the ring in a heap as killer yells at me to get back up ..........

Walrus: Ref is seeing what happened to Stax on other side of ring. So he doesn’t see that when k get in ring Killer kicks middle rope up straight into my massive low hangers. Almost castrated I tumble into the ring. Slowly getting up checking my Brussels sprouts are still intact. Annoyed i charge at Killer.

KFC_Gut: Outside ring Stax landed heavily on ground. I attempt a belly splash on him to try to out him out of the contest. Unable to leap high I just fall forwards to hopefully land on his belly and chest

senior_warrior: im outside the ring now with kfc trying to land on top of me but failing to make any real impact, a quick elbow to the top of his head and he rolls away, i slowly pull myself up and lean on the ring apron, i see killer backed up into a corner and walrus is charging at him trying to crush him between him and the post, i head for the steps and start to climb back up into the ring .......

senior_warrior:

senior_warrior: killer has the sense to hold onto the ropes and is holding himself up, but walrus under estimates him and as he rushes in again killer jumps up and back landing on top of the corner post and when walrus hits the post killer uses his back as a slide to get back down and into the ring behind him, and when killer sees me coming he moves over and helps me back into the ring knowing we have more chance with us both in the ring ..................

Walrus: As I near Killer he leaps up so I carry on belly first into that corner post. My huge belly bruised now as I feel Killer use my back to escape into the ring. Turning I gulp as I see Stax clambering into ring

KFC_Gut: A huge slam to my head knocked my off first as Stax moved away to re enter ring. I realise Walrud if in there against both men as I half crawl half hobble to the steps to drag myself onto ring. Me and Walrus in adjacent corners as Walrus moves across to me as Stax finally hauls himself in

KFC_Gut: Ref seems to have lost control as he tried to get me and Stax out but we ignore ref as we slowly move towards each other again

senior_warrior: i get back in with the help of my young tag partner but as im doing so i see you have both regrouped also now that kfc has come round, immediately i charge for walrus and belly slam into him trying to knock him back and as i do so i block kfcs view a little and as i move at the last second he sees killer charging towards him but unable to move in time he takes a big drop kick to his chest ...........

Walrus: Huge belly slam from Stax sending me back a few feet as he was over twice my weight.

KFC_Gut: I don’t see Killer as Stax bulk hides him until he is almost upon me. Huge drop kick to my chest sending me back into the corner as my back hits cornerpost.

Walrus: A second belly slam from Stax sends me back into our corner staggering as I do so my belly slamming into much bigger belly of KFC

senior_warrior: i watch as you two collide in the corner , i move back across the ring and i signal to killler, i charge towards the two of you crushing you both in the corner and then killer comes in as well charging into me so that i crush you both even more ............

KFC_Gut: Walrus considerable bulk slams belly to belly onto me. I can see Stax on opposite of the ring

KFC_Gut:

KFC_Gut: Ring shakes as the massive man charges towards us. I try pushing Walrus away so I can escape. But Walrus is heavy and is leaning into me so I can’t shift him. I can only watch as the human rhino approaches us !

KFC_Gut:

KFC_Gut: BBOOOOMM !!! As 700 lbs slams into both of us. I am squashed by over 1000 lb into the corner. Belly to belly with Walrus. Our large bellies pressed tightly together making breathing very difficult as our blubber is pushed up against our chests.

Walrus: The huge belly slam earlier by Stax and the attacks by Killer mean I am dizzy and stunned as I held elimo against the massive gut of KFC. I hear a sound like distant thunder approaches then I get slammed into my tag partners huge bulk.

Walrus: I vaguely hear the excited commentator yelling. “The whole ring moved”

KFC_Gut: Stax just holding us there as we struggle to breathe. I am staring at Stax who is grinning at me. The heaviest UK wrestler has already ko the second heaviest UK wrestler through suffocation once and may be on the way to doing it again

KFC_Gut: Stax is so wide and tall that I can’t see anything beyond him. Then suddenly Stax slams forwards squashing us even tighter together as another huge weight is added to the crush. I assume Killer has added his 210 lb to the compressing. I have nearly 1250 lbs pressing me into the corner. Both me and Walrus opening and closing mouths like goldfish out of water desperately trying to get air in but we are both so squashed our chests can’t expand to inhale. I know and more importantly Stax knows that he and Killer can ko me again just by maintaining this squash just a bit longer.

KFC_Gut:

senior_warrior: i feel kiler move back and then i do so too, to assess the damage as too rather pained wrestlers stumble forward and drop to the canvass..........

senior_warrior:

senior_warrior: i look over to killer and give him a nod and the wise young wrestler knows exactly what i mean he walks over kfc whos now laid on his back near the ropes, he stands over his face , his feet either side and facing his feet, he pauses for one quick second and then drops to his knees, his young sweaty arse right over kfcs face as the ref starts an easy count, 1,2,3, and together with the ko earlier that means killer has secured our win and as he stands up i raise his arm into the air in victory............

KFC_Gut: Just as I think I will be ko a second time Stax moves back. Walrus look almost ko as he then falls backwards to canvas face up. I stagger out a few steps then collapse face up

KFC_Gut:

KFC_Gut:

KFC_Gut: Trying to get air as I see Killer appear from behind Stax. Feet either side of my chest. Then he drops so his butt is over my face his knees holding my arms down and getting my shoulders pinned to ground. Ref who had been keeping out of the way to avoid getting crushed suddenly rolls back in ring and counts me out one ah two ah three ah as I breathe in the intoxicating scent of Killers sweaty arse crack.

KFC_Gut: We have lost by two scores to nil as Killer lifts to celebrate with Stax

Walrus: end